One name, every role. Banksy answers the phone, greets whoever walks up to the desk, files the paper you put under the camera, reads you the morning docket, keeps your hours, checks conflicts, searches 1.3 million New York decisions — and asks before anything leaves the building. One employee, on one box, in your office. No cloud, no per-seat, no revenue share.
October 1, 2026
Banksy sees, greets and listens hands-free voicecamera
With a speaker and a 4K desk camera attached, the box now notices a visitor, checks with its on-box vision model that it's a person, and greets them in the owner's voice with the right message for the moment (in, out, on a call). The visit is logged and the owner gets a nudge — by WhatsApp if they're out.
Say "Hey Banksy" and talk: no button. Locked panel = front-desk questions, take a message, booking requests. Unlocked = everything the on-screen assistant can do. The desk being empty for 45 seconds locks the panel on its own.
New voice commands: "scan three pages into <matter>" (it talks you through the pages), "read me the brief", "record ten seconds of b-roll". Dynamic replies now come back in under two seconds; lines you hear often are rendered in the owner's cloned voice.
October 1, 2026
New York case law on the box, kept current research
The Lex.NY corpus — 1.34 million New York decisions (Court of Appeals, Appellate Division, federal courts in NY, county Supreme Courts) and 44,758 statutes with 3.8 million semantic vectors — now lives on the box's own Postgres with a local vector index. Nearest-neighbour search answers in well under a second.
It stays current without the cloud: a nightly pull from CourtListener's free API, paced to the free tier, plus a quarterly bulk catch-up streamed straight from CourtListener's public snapshot. Newest decision on the box as of today: September 29, 2026.
September 30, 2026
Brain upgrade: Qwen 3.6 on Ollama models
After a measured tryout of five candidates on the box (Qwen 3.6 35B-A3B, Qwen 3.5 122B, Qwen 3.5 35B, Qwen 3.8 Flash-Next, MiniMax H3 for video), the on-screen assistant moved to Qwen 3.6 35B-A3B served by Ollama with thinking off: 70 tokens/s, a correct tool call in 1.2 s, cold start under 30 s. The 122B stays on disk for long research passes. Numbers are in the build-in-public series.
September 28–30, 2026
Hands, hours, nudges and a lock assistant
The assistant can now draft an email, book a consultation, log time or save a note — every one of them lands as a card that waits for the owner's OK on screen before anything happens. An hours journal (today / this week / by matter, export to CSV) feeds the nightly unbilled sweep and the morning brief.
It nudges: phone messages, leads nobody called back, appointments in the next 45 minutes, mail waiting for review, a failed backup — spoken when the owner is in, texted to WhatsApp when out, with a 5 PM "here's your day" recap. Conflict check, vault search, camera scan-to-vault and dictation to .docx all work by voice. A PIN lock screen with idle re-lock guards it all, and every feature has an on/off switch for the install checklist.
September 27, 2026
Images and video, generated on the box media
ComfyUI runs natively on the box's AMD GPU. Qwen-Image produces a 1024² image in under a minute; Wan 2.2 (5B and 14B) and LTX-2.5 produce short clips with native audio, chained into longer pieces. Memory ceilings keep a render from ever taking the phone line down.
September 26, 2026
The box boots to a screen kiosk
Plug in a monitor and the box comes up on a full-screen assistant with a KPI dashboard one keystroke away (services, backup, appointments, leads, messages, mail to review, matters, model status). MailGuard went quiet: one daily digest instead of email about email, with an urgent lane for anything that's actually money or a court date.
September 21–22, 2026
Matter vault, backups, and a repeatable build privacy
Drop a folder into a matter share from any PC on the office network; the box indexes it (PDF, Word including legacy .doc, Excel, text) and answers questions about that matter only, with citations and quotes — or refuses when nothing matches, never guessing. Nightly incremental backups are pulled to a second machine and the morning brief shouts if one is missed. A one-command bake and a first-hour smoke test make a new box reproducible.
September 15–16, 2026
The phone line goes public receptionist
Call the box: an AI receptionist in a cloned voice books consultations, takes messages, captures leads, reads your phone number back digit by digit, asks you to spell your email, and hangs up politely. English, Spanish and Mandarin. Inbound SMS with STOP/HELP handling and a published privacy policy. Eleven local models were benchmarked on the hardware to pick the brain; the mixture-of-experts winner runs at 90 tokens/s.